caleb and jordans lame blog 4 lame people: making fun of pieces of string since april 2007

Lesbo.

2007-09-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

Obviously a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

We all know what her and Grandma Thora get up to.

Sorry for the Hiatus!

2007-09-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you guys, but I miss this blog. I promise that from this day forward, I'll do my best to update it frequently. And, subsequently, Caleb will too, because he likes to be the best at everything.

So, the first order of business...

What the fuck was up with this retard?

Remember this bitch, from the show "Nanalan"?

She was so scary, and her grandma had a weird mouth...

Her dog was fucked up, too.

How the Fuck do You Like it??????

2007-06-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah. It doesn't feel good.

jesus christ

2007-06-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I know your like trying to be "authentic" but fuck update your wardrobe.

like you were forced

2007-06-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

wanna know what is lame? on like peoples facebook or myspace when their favorite book is like to kill a mockingbird or the outsiders. like wtf you were forced to read it in like grade 9 or 10. you shouldnt like something you are forced to do. soon peoples favorite activities are going to be "getting raped"...

Person Who Deserves to Go In The Chokee

2007-05-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

This week's victim to go in the Chokee is Littlefoot from the Land Before Time. Why? Because his name makes no sense. Brontosauruses were like the biggest dinosaurs in the world, and they called like the main brontosaurus "Littlefoot". his foot wasnt that little. it could probably smash your house.

shrek = melinda doolittle

2007-05-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

omg do little is right. like you have no neck.

PS omg wouldnt it be hot if after idol she was in doctor doolittle 4?

Best Show Eva (Avila)!

2007-05-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so. Mummies Alive! was like the best show ever. I loved it when they came out from under the bridge and how Armand loved to eat, even though he only had one arm. If I had one arm, I'd starve myself. Nefrititi was like their hooker though. They did her alllll the time. Sick.
And the Snakey guy was just weird. He was like a nerd/child molester. Oh well.

My favourite was Jackal, because he could fly and had a motorbike.

Say/Play

2007-05-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

I love Yak Baks. iPods have nothing on them.

all i can say: HOT

2007-05-02T14:58:00.001-07:00

Once Again, A Fuckin Crank

2007-04-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

Like, what was up Jafar from Aladdin's ass? Abu? This BAMF was soooo cranky like all the God damn time. Just because Jasmine wouldn't go out with him. Gawwd. You and the Genie could have gotten it on, you didn't have to strap a bomb to yourself and be a big old cry baby.

PS: Loose the dress and the Leprachaun shoes. They make you look like a homo. kthxbye.

like the original emo

2007-04-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

he hated colourfulness and destroyed things and had a maze of thorns and his like aprentice had purple hair. What more can i say?

Skank Whore Special Ed

2007-04-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

Short-shorts, suspenders, and Holly Leach shirt = big fashion no-no. Learn to dress, please and thanks.

okay smart ass

2007-04-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

remember that hallmark commercial that was all

It's your birthday and you're 75

Some People wonder how your still alive

Even though its not your grumpy style

Happy birthday would it kill you to smile?

Like fuck you whore, why would you say that. your rude. if i had a picture of you id put you in the chokee.

Person Who Deserves To Go In The Chokee

2007-04-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

sorry for the lack of posts but whatever.

the person who deserves to go in the chokee this week is......

THE MONSTER BY MISTAKE

fucking jesus like its not much of a "mistake" if you make yourself sneeze. like who can make themselves sneeze anyways? that is like so gay. and like fuck off you look like i made you on 3D movie maker. and like god that cop was a total dyke. and like i doubt your parents care if a ghost lives with you, espessially if he is a nice ghost, so "SHHHH mom and dad are going to know, because i will tell them." yup.

like wtf

2007-04-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

The Haunted Mask was such a rip-off of buffy vampires.

bump dans le night

2007-04-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Mr Bumpy from bump in the night scared the shit out of me. nightmares much?

Forget Badass Motherfuckers...

2007-04-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

Forget Badass Motherfuckers, we got us a BALDASS Motherfucker in here. WTF is Caillous problem? Like, his little sister has more hair on her head than him, and she's like 2. Fuck is he ever whiny, too. He bitches about everything, and he's right mean to his little sister, Rosie. Like, I don't know if you've ever seen the show, but Rosie will like touch one of his Tonka Trucks and he'll fuckin' smack her across the face. Fuuuuck. If Caillou was my kid, I'd leave him in a dumpster somewhere with only a pissy little blanket to keep him warm. Rosie didn't do shit to him, and yet he treats her like dirt. Since when are you hot shit, Caillou!? Like, even your name is weird. "Caillou." It's spelled to sound like "Ky-Loo" but everyone says it like, "Cayoo" and that doesn't even make sense. GTFO.

He's rude to Clementine, too. I'm surprised he doesn't try to enslave her, the bald little Nazi that he is.

And what the fuck is wrong with his dad? Caillou's dad looks SOO much like a woman. Like, he's so blatantly gay, I'm suprised Caillou's mom is still with him. All I can say is that Caillou's dad and kd Lang switched bodies.

Maan, Caillou is so friggin' messed up. Like, he's more disturbed than Daniel Cook. And I hate him about as much. When he grows up, he's gonna be even worse though. I bet this is what he will look like:

Props to Sarah H. for the idea to rant about Caillou.

more like HOE name.

2007-04-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

fuck we get you are like cheaper but get a name fuck.

Get Some Capitals

2007-04-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Fuck, it's time kd Lang stopped being so damn stubborn, and get some friggin' capital letters.
And I understand you're in favour of gay pride, gay rights, etc, etc, but is it necessary to look like a boy THAT much? I don't think so. Still, I lovesya.

umm we get it

2007-04-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

yeah we got that you sucked at dancing the first season. like umm when are you going to give it up?

Are You Tacky On Purpose?

2007-04-24T14:58:00.000-07:00

Fuck Doilies.

like long enough?

2007-04-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

harry potter books are like so stupid. they are about wizards who kill stuff for a billion pages and they are like so bland and boring. like wtf? a school of wizards. um maybe go to normal school. and like how funny is it that these people dont even know that there are wizards living with them. like im sure noone saw them run into a wall to go to the SS Hogwarts train thingy. like grow up. and how old is JK Rowling? 10? yeah i though of that shit when i used to play pretend. like fuck off.

ouch

2007-04-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

wanna know what is like so fucking retarded? when you get those big ass freezies and you eat them or whatever and then you are done and the sides of your mouth have like cuts on them. that is like the dumbest thing. like is mr freezie a psycho who insists on making his freezie wrappers out of like the mosty cutty material. yup pop sicles are wayyyy better.

There's 5 Minutes I'll Never Get Back...

2007-04-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

My God, Axe has like the longest friggin' commercials ever. Like, I have to look at Nick LaGhey's nasty mug for like 5 minutes, just so they can make sure they get the point across. WE GET IT. You're selling Axe. Why can't they just say, "Axe, Buy It." Instead of these friggin' epic commercials.

scooters are like so much better than bikes

2007-04-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

i think that scooters are making a comeback so dig them out of your attic, back shed or ditch in front of your house. k?

like close already

2007-04-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

like zellers is so gay. it is unorganized and everyone goes to walmart. it is like so lame and it looks like a 80s department store inside. even the like oversized shoppers drug marts are better and they are gay too. i hope zellers dies. and the zeller bear totally ripped off the shoppers bear. god i hate zellers.

The Hatian From NBC's "Heroes." What's his deal?

2007-04-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

You spent like the first 26 years of your life pretending you couldn't friggin talk. What the fuck was THAT all about?

WTF is the Point of These?

2007-04-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Skorts? What the fuck is the point of these damn things? For those of you that don't know, they're skirts that are really shorts, with like a va-gee-gee flap on them. Like, my gosh. If you wanna wear shorts, fine, wear them. If you wanna wear a skirt, go right the frig ahead. But for God sakes, make a decision. You don't see me wearing fuckin' skants, do you?

I Love You, But You're Racist

2007-04-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was like my favourite show ever, and I still love it. But sadly, I think I've found some racist implications in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. See above.

Quit the Band Already

2007-04-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

Quit the Pussycat Dolls already, Melody. No one likes you. You're the firggin' Scary Spice of the new millenium.

umm maybe just say let go of that object?

2007-04-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

wanna know what pisses me off. when parents tell their infants to ta-ta. like wtf. im sure if you say ta-ta they are going to immediatly let go of what they are holding! ta-ta sounds like a french stripper name. so if you have a kid and you are a big enough loser to be reading my blog, i say keep reading my blog annnnnd just tell you kid to let go of shit, not tata.

The Burning Question

2007-04-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

what is so satanic about a vacum? maybe dirt god was taken?

this skank scares me

2007-04-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

so wtf is with mother goose from barney. she used to scare the shit out of me. she had like that scary ass hat with those random white dots on it. i think they were childrens souls. yeah i bet she is like in a mental hospital now. yup. min is way cooler, and if you were a hardcore barney fan then you know who i mean.

whore

2007-04-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

like fuck you talk like a retard on E.

Person Who Deserves To Go In The Chokee

2007-04-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

yeah the idea of this segment was suggested by our loyal fans so every week we will tell you who deserves to go into the chokee.

THIS WEEK THE VICTIM IS...

Leah Miller the resident bitch from Much Music. Like seriously you like are the antichrist. you talk about fall out boy and alexisonfire like you are hardcore, but 12 year old girls love those bands too. at least all the other vjs have a gimmick (big hair, shoes, taking off their shirt, being chinese, being sorta gay) you just a retarded slut. seriously.

This Is Better than a Mouthy Bitch Named Daniel Cook

2007-04-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

This is Emily Yeung (I know, its spelled all weird,) from the show called "This is Emily Yeung." And its a show where they have Emily go around and learn stuff. But before she was on the show, this little bitch named Daniel Cook was. He was THE mouthiest little fucker in the world, and he never let people finish their sentences. He wrecked shit and he was just a plain friggin nuissance, so Treehouse TV fired him and brought Emily Yeung on, and she made the world a better place, because now kids will think its good to be polite and Chinese, like Emily, rather than be a mouthy little inconsiderate bitch named Daniel Cook. So thanks Emily, for saving the day.

Oh, if you want to see Daniel Cook, (although I don't know who would wanna look at that little whore) here he is. He's sick, so get the kids out of the room before you scroll down.

(ew.)

PETA is dumb.

2007-04-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

They say not to eat animals, yet they factory-produce stupid free stickers and send them out to scene kids to stick on their Hello Kitty binders, and they chop down trees to make pamphlets that people just throw away.

Here are a few PETA's stickers, as well as the new improved ones by me.

The Biggest Badass Motherfucker Ever!

2007-04-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

This guy is like the crankiest BAMF ever. His name is the Punisher and he's from Uh-Oh which is like the best show ever. But my God is he cranky. He basically breaks out of a cage and throws goo on kids and squirts them with SuperSoakers. He acts like a big friggin' dick.

Him and Miss Trunchbull should get together to be rude to kids and have kinky sex in the Chokee. After all, the Punisher is already dressed for kinky sex. Kthxbye.

if i was pocahontas i would be pissed

2007-04-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

okay so what is up with this? pocahontas can get down like the rest of them and she isn't even considered a disney princess. like if i was her i would like smack a bitch. her and like mulan should fucking sue.

rita repulsa: boy, girl or asian?

2007-04-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Rita Repulsa I know you try to be such a bad ass mother fucker but you cant pull it off. Okay the first issue i have with you is what race are you? you kind of look like pochahontis but you kinda look asian too. i dont comprehend. and also like wtf is with that resiculous hat? It kinda looks like a croissant . wtf is with your whole outfit actually? i looked better dressed as harry potter for halloween. all the other power rangers have normal clothes but where do you fit in? and lastly i see the sexual tension between you and lord zed so just do it already. i love you.

Scenesters!

2007-04-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah. Fuck off scene whores, cause that's what you look like.

Hilary Duff: Before and After

2007-04-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

haha get it? she used to be a fatty whore.

The Burning Question...

2007-04-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

Why was everyones least favorite Spice Girl Mel B?

And What the fuck were those things in her hair?

smarter child you naughty thing you

2007-04-21T05:02:00.000-07:00

so im midling my own buisness talking to smarter child and he says this:

- SmarterChild - *unicef contributing to charity says:
Try chatting with my friend Spleak. Add spleak@hotmail.com to your Contact List and say hi - she's cool!
She's a pop musician. I've been learning about pop musicians like Avril Lavigne.
She's really good at sining i like her!

reow smarter child sounds raunchy. soon he'll be like " I have this cool friend satan, add him at pitzofhell@hotmail.com .

"Clay Who?" said the Afghan

2007-04-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Sooo, I was reading about how former American Idol contestent/Dude-who-might-be-gay-so-don't-make-fun-of-him, Clay Aiken was in Afghanistan as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. Fuck, UNICEF must be pretty damn understaffed if they want him to do this shit. He's like on the G-List of celebs. But, nevertheless, UNICEF thought that it was a good idea to bring him along, and so Clay was off to Afghanistan (which he probably thought was in Africa) to do... well... something. Anyway, when he got there, I'm sure the Afghan children were all excited for like Mr. T to show up or Shakira or something, and were like, "WTF is this jip?" when Clay showed up. I mean, I would be.

And NO Rosie O'Donnell, I did NOT say that cause he was gay. ILY Rosie.

like if i wanted this shit i'd watch degrassi

2007-04-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

Okay do you want to know something i hate. So you are all excited to watch an episode of Full House and you turn it on and there is no laughter. OH MY FUCK its one of those serious episodes. fuck like you are a sitcom not oprah. like your name is DJ. DJ is an ocupation not a name. I dont care that you are starving yourself! id starve myself if i had feathered bangs and my sister was a combination of both the olsens. i think all serious episodes of full house should be banned ( ie stephanie presured to smoke, michelle falling off a horse) like that episode of pokemon where james gets boobs to pretend hes a girl.

Whore Barbies With Dilated Pupils

2007-04-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

From the record label that brought you Ashlee "Birdnose" Simpson comes the best thing to ever hit music. In fact, it's probably like a moment that will define music's history. Geffen is looking for a musical artist to record a song for the upcoming "Bratz" movie. If you and your shitty ass band wants to be in a Bratz movie, head on over to http://www.bratzsoundtrack.com, and post some shitty ass tune about Barbies with dumb ass cartoon eyes who love shopping and saving up blow-job money for a pair of new shoes. With any luck, Avril Lavigne will win it, and sing a song saying "Hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking googly-eyed Barbie rip-off."

I hate Bratz and I hate Avril. Bitch, the French called, they want their name back.

Seacrest OUT!

Copy Cat Skank

2007-04-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

Oh em gee, I fucking hate copy cat celebs. Britney Spears is such a copycat whore, like Natalie was bald waaaay before Brit was, Brit was just jumping on the bandwagon like she was 5ive or something. If you don't know who 5ive are then count yourself lucky cause they were like N*sync only all of 5ive were gay. But anyway, yeah, Britney is a poser. You AREN'T NAT, and you sure as hell AREN'T a Skinhead, so wake the hell up and do us all a favour and put on a toupee.

And I mean, at least Nat did it for a MOVIE. Brit just did it cause she's effing psycho and wants JT back. mmmk? thanks bye.

sanjaya malakar is re-untied with twin brother

2007-04-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

like seriously give it up

2007-04-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

oh my god avril lavinge get over it. like what the fuck are you doing? are you trying to look bad ass? it really is making you look like a total redonkulous whore face. like what is your target audience? 7 year old girls and creepy 15 year old boys like me? yeah thats what i thought. like is it nessesary for you to swear in your hit single girlfriend? umm i think "heck yeah i'm the mother flying princess" would sound way better. like your new cd has a parental advisory? is that called for? 7 year olds are going to like know all the words to these songs! like can you grow up, and i dont mean sing about suggestive things like lemoncello, i mean like stop trying to act like the girl from that movie thirteen (which btw you are not pulling off)!

PS old woman hands much?

yeah we got it the first time

2007-04-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

umm i just thought id let you know that you dont look cool because you smile like this. you look like you are trying to hard to be a scene retarded whore so just smile right jesus christ.

raise your hand if you love matilda :)

2007-04-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

So Matilda is the greatest movie of all time. I pretty much think that i could watch it 30 times in a row. Okay i thought it would just tell you why i love it. Okay the first reason is because she is such a skank. Like wtf? who goes to the library to get books. The library is only there for the internet and look at birds with the librarian. The second reason i love it is because she could write her name in nasty green shit when she was like 2 months old. i dont see you doing that. I also love the bitch who gets thrown over the fence. She is a trooper, she didn't even cry. I like the guy who eats the cake too, he kinda looks like me but like way shaggier and fatter. and cookie is pretty hot too. Mrs Trunchbull is such a whore though. like how does she not get caught? she pinches peoples faces until m&ms come out. i love the whole movie but the best part is THE CHOKEE! i love the chokee i want one to throw people in. I think the chokee deserved the Oscar for the best supporting actor in 1996. that would have been sexy.